Old job, new job

So I finally, met with the boss who I must say was rather understanding. He asked me If I really thought this was the right job for me and I had to confess to him that it wasn't. I really didn't know whether it was the depression talking or me. He said he would help me find something more suitable in another department. Next week I start in this new department. Though relieved, I feel defeated, that I wasnt in a mental state to perform well at the job. It seems I am taking a step back and everyone around me is moving forward. Then I remember to put things into perspective....I still have a job. The dread of the next job keeps me awake at night. I need to get the depression under control, at least to a level that will enable me to work and maintain the job. Even though I was never an advocate of medications, I realized that I had to do something. I started taking antidepressants last week. I feel kind of helpless that I have turned to medication. I can't really tell anyone about this for fear of being judged. In my next post, I will discuss my  initial experience with antidepressants.